Ask The Sexpert: How Do I Improve My Sex Life With My Boyfriend So I Don’t Have To Fake Orgasm?

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Q: I am unable to orgasm with my boyfriend, so I fake it. I want to improve our sex life so I don’t have to anymore. Help!

A: As soon as you faked your orgasm the first time, you created a pattern that would be harder and harder to break as time passed. If you put on a dramatic, Oscar-worthy performance, it’s even worse. Verbal affirmation, like moans, signals your partner to keep doing what they are doing because you enjoy it. Now, you are going to have to show him what you really like.

Before you can expect anyone else to please you, you must know how to please yourself. If you don’t already know what you like, schedule some “you” time. When you’re with your partner, slow things down a notch. Step up the foreplay, so you’re sure to be turned on prior to penetrative sex. One of the major reasons women don’t achieve orgasm during sex is because men need less stimulation than women. In order to bridge the gap, get a head start with foreplay.

When guiding your mate to turn you on, take care with your approach; you should not be barking orders and directions like a drill sergeant. Have him spend more time on your erogenous zones, and be sure to let him know when he does something that you enjoy, i.e. “I love it when you…”

The bottom line is you deserve pleasure just like him. You simply need to take the steps as a couple to insert the spark into your love life.

Happy Sex!

- Ask the Sexpert
Email us at Sexpert@ToyClosetNYC.com to have your question featured anonymously.

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